希望高手能把句子改的更漂亮更高级点同时改正里面的错误 谢谢!For three years, a new TV program appeared in China, the game Aquatic with foam modules. It includes physical activities which already existing such as rock climbin

希望高手能把句子改的更漂亮更高级点同时改正里面的错误 谢谢!For three years, a new TV program appeared in China, the game Aquatic with foam modules. It includes physical activities which already existing such as rock climbin
希望高手能把句子改的更漂亮更高级点同时改正里面的错误 谢谢!
For three years, a new TV program appeared in China, the game Aquatic with foam modules. It includes physical activities which already existing such as rock climbing, diving, swimming, running, jumping ... All these activities constitute the obstacle course, but what makes it special and innovative is that these activities are performed on the water. This TV program won a great success in China with a large public. Many Chinese TV stations have opened similar programs to motify the courses and rules. This program is novel and has brought a new form of sport. Originally the idea is very simply to encourage people to exercise in the context of the Beijing Olympic Games in 2008, and it has achieved a tremendous success by the telecast, the game is now considered a sport in China with its own règles. Our micro project is inspired by this new concept, and we wish to westernize it, like a modern intercity and innovative. We want to build our company which offer the sports courses adjustables on the water. Our goal is to create a new hobby that is based on the creation of a sports service aquafun named: Aquamoov
This is to set up our foamy course on top of lakes, ponds, sea. The goal is to offer several courses sportives and recreationals. The course consist of competitive barriers which is built by obstacles worthy of Olympic disciplines: the hedges, the horizontal bar, the swimming ... Our goal is to play sports while increasing pleasure. Why do sports? To have fun, keep fit, lose weight, manage stress ... Indeed, studies show that pleasure is the primary motivation among young people for sport. So our customers are particularly young people, what are the benefits of our business. The course consists normally 5 to 7 Barriers. Each obstacle has its own name, the participants fall into the water as punishment.

希望高手能把句子改的更漂亮更高级点同时改正里面的错误 谢谢!For three years, a new TV program appeared in China, the game Aquatic with foam modules. It includes physical activities which already existing such as rock climbin
楼主,帮你改正了一些小错误,请鉴定
第一段
第一行For three years, a new TV program appeared in China, the game Aquatic with foam modules. It includes physical activities which already existing such as rock climbing, diving, swimming, running, jumping ... 改为For three years, a new TV program has appeared in China, which is the game Aquatic with foam modules. It includes physical activities such as rock climbing, diving, swimming, running, jumping and so on currently
第五行motify应该是modify,但最好改成imitate
第九行we wish to westernize it, like a modern intercity and innovative. 改为we wish to western it to be a modern, intercity and innovative program
We want to build our company which offer the sports courses adjustables on the water. 改为We want to build our company which offers the sports courses adjustable on the water.
Our goal is to create a new hobby that is based on the creation of a sports service aquafun named: Aquamoov改为Our goal is to create a new hobby that is based on the creation of a sports service like aquafun, named: Aquamoov
第二段
第一行The goal is to offer several courses sportives and recreationals. 改为The goal is to offer several courses sportive and recreational.
第二行The course consist of competitive barriers which is built by obstacles worthy of Olympic disciplines: the hedges, the horizontal bar, the swimming ... 改为The course consists of competitive barriers which is built by obstacles with Olympic disciplines: the hedges, the horizontal bar, the swimming ...
最后So our customers are particularly young people, what are the benefits of our business. The course consists normally 5 to 7 Barriers. 改为So our customers are particularly young people, who provide the benefits of our business. The course consists of normally 5 to 7 Barriers.
希望能帮到你!

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好贪啊，审这么长篇的文章，还要改，粗略看了下，要改的不算少，主要是不地道，生硬。太长，等别人改把

For three years ,china has appeared a new-stly TV program which with the game Aquatic of foam modules. this program includes some already existed physical activities such as rock climbing, diving, ...

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For three years ,china has appeared a new-stly TV program which with the game Aquatic of foam modules. this program includes some already existed physical activities such as rock climbing, diving, swimming, running, jumping ... All these constitute the obstacle course, but the all of it are profromed on the water is the reason why this program is so special and innovative.
This TV program had won a great success with a large publicity in china. ManyTV stations have opened similar programs to motify the courses and rules., the program is just to encourage people to exercise themselves under the context of the Beijing Olympic Games in 2008, and it has achieved a tremendous success throught the telecast, now it has been considered a new sport form as its règles and novel .
this new concept also inspired us .Our micro project is to westernize it to be a modern intercity and innovative. We also want to make our company to offer the adjustables sports courses on the water. Our goal is to create a new hobby stly based on the creative service for the sports aquafun named: Aquamoov
we set up our foamy on these top lakes, ponds, sea. our goal is to offer several sportive and recreative courses . which consisted of competitive competition such as barriers which is built by obstacles : the hedges, the horizontal bar, the swimming ... This course have normally 5 to 7 Barriers and Each obstacle has its own name, if the participants fall into the water will get punishment.playing sports and have fun are our goals. Why do sports?
To have fun, keep health, lose weight, reduce pressure ... Indeed, being pleasure is the primary motivation for young people doing sports. So our customers are particularly youngers, which is the vuable of our business. .
有些句子根据逻辑要改动一下顺序。。不有一些语法上的改动。 看看吧。。

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