高手帮我看一下托福作文第一次写,求高手提提意见.It has been said,"Not everything that is learned is contained in books."Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books.In your opinion,which s

高手帮我看一下托福作文第一次写,求高手提提意见.It has been said,"Not everything that is learned is contained in books."Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books.In your opinion,which s
高手帮我看一下托福作文
第一次写,求高手提提意见.
It has been said,"Not everything that is learned is contained in books."Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books.In your opinion,which source is more important?Why?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
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After acquired the skill of reading and writing,one get the access to knowledge from books as well as from experience.Generally,those skills considered as basic come from experience,like:walking,speaking,driving,etc .And books offer knowledge at a higher level,such as math and literature.Never can one say either of the both sources is not necessary,actually,each side holds advantages of its own.
Book,which is called “teacher and friend of people”,has been instructing human beings for thousands of years,and there is no signal indicates this will stop in the conceivable future.An outstanding factor of book is,the knowledge contained in it,tends to be precise and objective.Usually,no mistake can ever be found in books.This is because,what is written in books is the combination of different experience,among which the responsible writer delete the faults and maintain the truth.Thus,you have little chance to go totally wrong under the insruction of books.Moreover,since books provide system knowledge,it is possible for one to become expert in a new domain with books.For instance,there’re books teach you to become an excellent cook,an outstanding manager,or a famous actress.
In comparing with books,experience also has its own preponderance.Knowledge from experience updates much more frequent than those in books.With today’s fast tempo of life,some knowledge on paper soon convert into old-fashioned.Since people contact with the society around them everyday,however,knowledge from experience never meet such problem,the new knowledge soon replace the old one.
Despite the weakness books may have,as a student majored in Physics,I would say that it is more important a source of knoeledge than experience,for the reason that it is sophiscated and with precision.And that’s what I need in my future work.
首先感谢bangbang-nova详尽的解答。还有一点小问题，首先你说的第二条，我并不是要用从句，那个this是指代上文的；还有就是specific details的问题，在不用例子的情况下，到底如何才算做到了这点？

高手帮我看一下托福作文第一次写,求高手提提意见.It has been said,"Not everything that is learned is contained in books."Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books.In your opinion,which s
1.one get-> one gets
2.there is no signal indicates this ->indicates that
3.An outstanding factor of book is,the knowledge contained in it,tends to be precise and objective.这句话我不建议你这么写,灵活的插入有必要,但是你有些舍本求末了
4.书面文不要用缩写
5.there’re books teach you to become an excellent cook,an outstanding manager,or a famous actress.-》there are books that teacher
6.covert-》coverts never meet -》never meets replace-》replaces
总的来说,文章还可以,但是得高分很难,小错太多,我没细看,这种单复数错误过多还是有一定影响的.你喜欢用长句,用各种短语搭配,但是我个人感觉句法不够熟练.英语不是中文,英语一句话就是一个意思,你用了太多的逗号,这并不符合英语的写作规范.此外,TOEFL作文最讲究的是用specific details支持你的论点,我感觉你的陈述过多,但是细节没有进行必要的放大.最后就是意义了,你认为光看书就能be an excellent cook.不敢苟同,我倒觉得这些地方时experience 更重要
以上,
补充：我不是让你用从句,你一句话里面两个谓语动词了,indicate stop中间必须得有东西连接
此外,我不认为不用例子可以写好托福作文,托福作文不像GRE,文章体裁都比较大众,很难说理说的出彩,一定要有论据支持.至少我不会也没见过不用specific details得高分的文章.